Love Letter Romance

Love Letter Romance
By Gwendolyn Liam Vincent
& Zoe Elaine Pinkerton
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Dear Diary,

Zoe came over today while my parents were gone and we watched a movie. She was so understanding and polite. And cute. She kissed my hand several times. And the side of my face. And she was just so cute. (:
When we went outside she kissed me. Well it was a sloppy kiss because I am a horrible kisser that's only been kissed once before by a stupid boy. Grr.
But Zoe's not a whore. She's so great. *sigh*
And I miss her already.
Gwen

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Dear Gwen,

Every moment with you is LiKe wAtching the most BeAutiful sunset over And over Again and eAch second.
I could not Imagine life without you Now. You have showN me What the true meaNiNg of happiNess is. Every dAy that I Am with you is the greAtest day of my Life. I wish thAt those dAys would Never eNd. ThAt I could Be with you in thAt moment forever.
ONe dAy there wAs horses... Just kidding. But, one dAy we will Be with eAch oTher EverydAy.
Also, I know that we hAve oNly Been together A short while, But It feels As if I've KNowN you my whole Life, my whole existAnce. It's scAry to thiNk About, But exhilArAting At the sAme time. I reAlly do wAnt to grow old with you. ThAt would Be a dreAm in itself. A dreAm thAt I hope thAt I Never wAkeup from.

Yours Truly,
Zoe E. Pinkerton

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This boy in my class assumed I was writing a love letter!! But I was not. I was writing a story! Now I am writing a love letter!!

I love you!!
Didja know it? I do!!

~~lay your head on my shoulder...love me like a... *some words i don't know*~~

Aren't you happy you're here? You should hug me now. I desperately need a hug!

Love you,
Gwennie

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Dear Diary,

I wish I graduated because out of the house mom wouldn't give my hanging out with Zoe a second thought.
It peturbs me how she refers to her as a "24-year-old ruffian". The "ruffian" is just thrown in because Zoe wears leather, no doubt.
I really like Zoe though and I really like how she holds my hands and kisses my hands and makes normalcy unimportant. Like, if something weird were to happen, she would just shrug and push it aside. I like that about her. And I like, basically, touching her. I like having someone to hold and that can hold me.
And she makes me feel grown-up.

Gwen

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Zo,

I called you but you might probably be asleep. You have to work tomorrow so it's understandable. That's where I'd be if I had to wake up as early as you do. (:
Anyways... I've been thinking lately about how wonderful we are together. Well... How PERFECT we are, in reality. I can never stop thinking about it. Our relationship is unlike any relationship I've ever heard of. It's fallen together like a rewinded video of someone shattering glass. You know, the glass goes together instantly without the smallest fault. And it's smooth and beautiful. Like marble. Or glass, which is what it is. Only we are not like glass in the way of it being fragile. No. We are strong and unbreakable, as we always will be.
It's so wonderful to me how my future is so dependable. Like steal. It'll be a while before we are in each other's arms constantly, but the beauty of it is that I want to wait. That it doesn't bother me to wait. And I don't think it bothers you either. I read somewhere that lovers don't finally meet somewhere, but they're in each other all along. I guess that sort of makes sense considering I wrote you into my story before I'd met you. I told you before that we were destined to be and I believe it more and more each day. With every word we speak and everything we do.
I've never seen a more caring, wonderful person than you. And I see me in you and you in me. We're so similar. And I have all these plans and you have all these plans and they fit together as if my plans WERE your plans and your plans WERE my plans.
What drives me crazy is never being able to tell you exactly how I feel for you. I can't even describe it because I get so etnitely confused and start stumbling on my words. Even in thought. I can't even think of words to describe it.
It's like if I could take all the tragedies I've ever heard and combine them. All the beauty of them is like us. Except we are not a tragedy. We're like the most beautiful tragic love story except it doesn't have a tragic ending.
This is why I cannot stop thinking about it. Because it is the best thought ever and I never ever want it to end.

Loves,
Gwen

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Dear Diary,

Officially Zoe and I have been going out for two months. Hooray! Today is a great day. And meh...Today is a bad day, maybe.
Zoe and I makeout a lot. I mean makeout-makeout. Complete with kissing and moaning and dry humping and touching... Etc...
The cases we've madeout like this are:
1st time- down at the brige behind my house, standing up
2nd time- on my bed while the parents were gone, laying down
3rd time- on the bed again
4th time- on the hood of her car laying down
5th time- on her hood again
6th time- on her hood again...
And then tonight... Since my parents were out to dinner... On the bridge, on my bed AND on the car.
Halfway throught he car one mom pulled up and I jumped up. Did she see us? who knows? Please, please, please, don't let her of saw us...
However, it would make a good story; check it ou:
"Oh yeah, my mom caught me and Zoe dry humping on the hood her car in the dark..." God it sounds so naughty. But then I can't tell anyone anyways because no one knows about her.
Zo and I are naughty together. But good. We're going to buy a cruise ship and travel the world. (; We've already discussed it.
We're really great together. Like really really. And she's so cute. ^.^
I need my chapstick. My lips hurts. Aparently when you bute your lips it means you're horny. :o Aparently I get horny A LOT. Even in class and while I sleep.
Oh my goodness... It makes me fill with DREAD when I think about whether or not mom caught us. I know her and I know the way she works. If she DID see us (heaven forbid) she won't mention it until later. And she will be cold to me FOREVER.
I don't want to ruin my life with her because she knows were together. She's so against homosexuality it's insane. I HATE that.
So I guess I'll just wait and see what she says tomorrow when she gets ready to leave. I don't think she saw us though, because if she did then she'd know I was gay. And she'd have kicked me out already.
But I guess we need to be more careful. Like makeout sessions in places she won't find us!! Like at the park of course. Or down on the bridge. Except you can see her red shirt from a mile away.
Even if mom assumes the worst... So what?At least even if we did have wild passionate sex I couldn't get pregnant. So what does she really have to be mad about?

Gwen

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Zo,

It's cold and dark in here, but even still I can find the lines and my handwriting is legible. Huzzah! What an accomplishment, I know, I know. It's of epic porportions. Bow down and stare in wonder. Or whatever.
Anyways... I find myself missing you immensly. Especially you're facial expressions. Like the one you get when you're serious. That one's my favorite. It's so pure and realistic.
We'll be going out 3 months on Friday. But... It seems years, doesn't it? In someways it seems days and days and days. Someways it seems without length... Because it will go on forever. Inevitably.
~~Will you still love me for the rest of your life??...~~
I love Chicago. Such a great 80s band, eh??
My favorite thing about us is the way we make one another shine. Like glisten.
There were these 2 geese once migrating south. The girl got shot and lay dying in a parking lot til someone from the animal help center came and rescused her. For weeks she was in rehabillitation, healing and resting. And for weeks the male goose paced around the parking lot waiting. Finally when the female was healthy enough to be released they took her back to the parking lot and let her go. There the male approached her, nuzzled her, and then the two took off into the sky.
That's the kind of devotion I have. I want. It's so wonderful to be devoted to one person and one person only. They share your dreams and plans and life.
Can you imagine a couple that trusted each other completely? Cheating wasn't even a concept because they loved each other THAT much. Which is HOW much? Love should not be something to keep you from cheating- no cheating should just NEVER be there. Love is love. Not a barrier. Not a rule or a law. It's an emotion. An emotion that goes hand in hand with devotion.
Devotion is love.
I just... I don't know. I want it.

I love you!
Gwen

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DeAr Gwendolyn,
I hAve No wAy to ExplAiN to you oN how I feel About you. IN All my Life, I hAve Not met someoNe As greAt As you Are to me. You treAt me so well! You Are Indeed A super uber greAt person. You cheer me up so much. I feel As if you complete me. The very thought of you mAkes me hAppy. Life is so woNderful wheN you Are iN it. I hAd No IdeA how woNderful it could Be. TheN you cAme iNto my Life And showed me how greAt it is. I loNg for tAlking to you, to heAr your voice, to feel your touch sends shivers dowN my Body. I feel As if we Are meANt to be together. I waNt us to be together. For As Long As we Live.
I doN't thiNk I cAn express how I feel for you At All.

SiNcerely Yours,
Zoe Pinkerton

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Dear Diary,

I met this girl today named Kate. She's really sweet. She transferred from some school in Florida and she's partnering with me on my English project.
I miss Zoe. ): I can't wait to see her on Saturday. I think it was a good thing we got a lot of our sexual tension out on Friday. We seem to be even closer, which is so close already. I'm so in love with her. I just want to tell the world how much I love Zoe. I love her to the depths...Or whatever.
But I can't because my parents hate her for being a "low-life" and would hate me by extension for being a "fag". I feel kind of strange.
I wish Zoe was here.

Gwen
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Zoe,
Hullo! "it's a trip into the golden age of railroading". I've no clue why we're watching a "History of England" movie in AP English class. o.O You should show up in your Queen Amidala costume. I had a dream last night that I drove Dad to taco bell. I thought to myself the whole dream "Zoe'll be proud!!". I for seriously need to learn to drive. I'm pathetic.
Now I'm going to draw pictures on this paper. Here's an ugly version of me today. ): I'm fat. Here's a meh version of me today. ^.^ I'm tall? And nerdy. Here's a ghost version of Donald Trump. Here's you with really bushy hair. Here's a lint monster. And here's a Velma monster.
I'm a paper waster!! )': Anyways... I'll try harder on a letter to you later, mmkay Darling?

Loves yous!
Gwennie

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Dear Diary,

The light is bright. It hurts my eyes which came accustomed to the darkness as I talked to Zoe. I love to talking to Zoe mostly as I lay in the dark, near sleep. I love a lot of things about Zoe, I think. Like the face she gets (so serious) right before we have sex. The way she makes me feel sexy. And how simple everything is to her.
I just wish... No. Nevermind. I don't care. It's nothing. I'm fine.

Gwen.

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Zoe!
I wish it would storm today and all the electricity would go out and the rest of our lessons would be canceled. Or at least they could cancel blocks two and three because they radiate evil- Math&Science. Bleh. :P
So our senior pictures today were silly. We had to wear big velveteen rabbit skins. Poor bunnys.
I'm going to take the time to draw a comic here. There's a velveteen bunny. He sees a carrot in a hole. He goes down it...INTO A VELVETEEN BUNNY COAT MAKER. The machine makes a growly noise. And POOF! Coat. In the last box you can see that weird balding photographer telling me to put it on.
See? Sheer murder!! Poor v. bunny! =^.^= Mrow! Mish! And poor us for having to wear v. bunny skins. Buuuut... I made you proud. I wore my glasses. The lady was concerned about the glare but she got over it. And I, (I hope) looked fabulous. But, you know, that's what teh school piccys lead you to believe- that you look descent, even though, secretly, you look like you were fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster!!
Anyhoo, today's musings on life:
1- Math is the demon lord son of the Devil sent to collect math minions to kill those of us with creativity. (i.e- me & you & Neil Gaiman)
2- V. Bunnys have families too and should not be ruthlessly slaughtered for senior draperies. Or at all. They're entirely adorable.
3- Joy to notes & stories & all other distracting elements. For they are gifts from the heavens to help us all survive The Demon Lord Math's classes... :D

You know, it is only the 5th day of school and already...

Dead. X_X

We'ere having brocolli for lunch. :P Oh joy, oh rapture. Oh...Bleh.
Anyways, I miss you!! But I get to see you the day after tomorrow so I'm positive and wishing this day would speed up major. This science class makes me want to cry. It's so pathetical.
I think I'll scream or run away... Or bang my head into the desk. Or I could just read. I think I'll read.

I love you!!

Gwendolyn
Gwennie

PS. Hi

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Dear Gwen,

IN the Short time I'ev KNowN you, And the short time we've BeeN together, I feel As if I've kNowN you forever. You hAVE BeeN the greAtest persoN to me. You AlwAys tAke iNto coNsiderAtioN ON how I feel, or whAt I thiNk.
NooNe hAs Ever treAted me Like thAt Before. I've Never felt Like this Before About AnyoNe. I'm At A Loss for words On how I feel About you. You Are so beAutiful, And so INtelligeNt. Just BeiNg ArouNd you mAkes my dAy the Best dAy iN my Life. I feel Like I've BeeN completed.....Completely completed! (: If you were here I would hold you in my Arms And Never Let you go! I wANt to Live the rest of my Life with you. Forever!

It's 2:00AM And I'm Really tired. But I cAN't sleep. I miss you so much thAt I cAN't stop thiNkiNg About Being with you. So, I cAN't Sleep coz I cAN't get you off my mind.

Love,
Zoe

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Dear Diary,

I'm in bed, on my stomach in a baggy white t-shirt. There are so many things on my mind.
I went Dairy Queen with Kate today and we had the best time just talking about Tori Amos. She actually knows the song "Baltimore". Which is weird because it's a very unpopular song. We had a very good time but when she dropped me off she reached over and squeezed my hand and ...I felt kind of guilty.
Last night Zoe and I left early and drove far out to an old abandoned barn. Zoe said "Baby it's abandoned" and I pulled her over to me and I kissed her. I whimpered. Soon all resisting was but a memory. We lost coast and shirts and her pants. And then my pants. Underwear, socks, shoes. All gone.
We made love to a folky mixed cd. She was really vocal. Then we laid for a long while with her draped over me like a cashmere throw and we breathed heaviy. The phone rang. I answered it and it was Kate.
She wanted to know if we could hang out. I sat up really quickly pulling on clothes and laughed with her. "Yes," I said. She wanted to know what I was doing at that time and I told her I was helping my mom make dinner.
I love Zoe. But something's going on with me.

Gwen.

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Zo,
I want you to know how important you are to me. To everyone. You're the one guy, you know, even though you're a girl, in the movies that every girl dreams about. The happy ending. My happy ending. There are so many hoes and hussys and horrible people in the world and it's so far and inbetween that one finds a woman like you. A woman who cares about everyone and stops to help people. You DO THAT. You have manners and you're so sweet to every person on this Earth I know. Even if they don't deserve it. And people LOVE you for it. They see you for how attractive you are on the outside and then instantly see how perfectly, incredibly, wonderfully, ENTIRELY sweet you are. It's not this deep knowing of you that captivates people- it's just you. That's what I am absolutely in love with about you. How you are to me. How you make me feel like I'm worth so much.
And it's this unexplainable feeling. I just want to be with you constantly because I love you so enternally much and I want to show you how you make me feel. Like a fairy. Haha. Or a mermaid. Something fantastic.
It's like I'm dreaming all the time. About my fairytale life and my prince, or princess I guess, and our happily-ever-after. I just love you so much. I don't want you to be confused why or why people love you ingeneral.
They love you because of how pure you are. And in all truth, and I want you to really listen to this- you are the most caring woman I've ever known- heard of. Just thinking about it makes me miss you oh-so-bad. Why can't I have you here ALL THE TIME??? When you come and I see your face for the first time in a week, it's like the whole world has lit up. Like I'm sitting all alone in a swing in a park at night, and suddenly, it's that one single moment that says it's too dark to be dark and then all the street lights turn on. And I see you walking up to me, just smiling and being my Zoe. And everything sort of sings, if you know what I mean. And my heart does this little flip in my chest and I jump to be in your arms. And it's as if, in that moment EVERYTHING ELSE in my entire life seemed pointless. Like I souly live for those moments.
Do you ever feel that way??? I love you Zoe. I really do.

Gwendolyn Liam Vincent
Gwennie <3

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Dear Diary,

In 15 days Zoe and I will be together for 11 months. And no one knows. Not even my best friends. My parents. No one.

Gwen.

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Zo. Yo. I'm in [Physical Science Class]. Blech. :P How about yourself, dear? Are you being forced to listen about circuit breakers and transformers and amplifier switches? No. You are sleeping. Loser!! :D
Heh. I love you. I wish I was sleeping... But alas... I am not. However, today is a fabulous day! No worries in the world and everything to look forward to! It's very exciting! I petitioned last block for an academic pep rally and when children tried to interupt me I yelled really loud that I wasn't finished and deserved respect. They were suprised and were very respectful then. It was nice. However even the nerds think I am an uber nerd now... But I am! I asked Aimee if she would cheer at an academic rally and she said probably not... *sigh*
Oh well! I would!!
Only like 25 minutes til lunch... Mashed potatos.
Anyways... I get to see you tomorrow! To the stores! Hurrah!
AnwywaysX2... We have to watch "Bride&Prejudice"... If you want to. (: You  might like it! Maybe!
Also... I adore you Zo and you're fabulous and my favorite thing ever.
I'm drinking a half-a-cup-of-coffee!!
I am very hyper!

I love you Zo!
Gwennie

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Dear Gwen,

How cAN put iNto words About how I feel About you. I fiNd it very hArd to explAiN it ANd Not mANy words cAN explAiN it. There's just but oNe word thAt cAN explAiN the feelings I hAve for you. ThAt word is Love. I simply ANd utterly Love you ANd everything About you. You mAke me so very hAppy in Life. I doN't even wANt to thiNk of my Life without you. You Are the greAtest persoN I know, ANd you would do ANythiNg for me. Of course I would do ANythiNg for You too. I cAN oNly couNt dowN the dAys uNtil we Are together forever. I hope thAt I doN't have to wAit too Long either.
Every momeNt I speNd without you is so drab, boring. ANd paiNful. To KNow I have to eNdure A bAd dAy simply becAuse I cAN Not be with the oNe I Love so very much. So, wheN I fiNAlly get to see you it's exhillerAting! It's Also so very woNderful! The dAys I get to see you Are the best dAys of my Life. They just get better And better every time I get to see you! You Are my everythiNg- my Life.

Your Love,
Zoe Pinkerton
Zo

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Dear Diary,

I wore Zoe's shirt to school today and everyone kept asking me where I got it. Eventually I just said I didn't know and my cousin must have left it at the house. Kate said I looked really cute in it and she really liked when I wore my hair up with the braids in it. She's so freaking sweet.
I invited Zo over tonight to watch Moulin Rouge with me but she hates musicals. I've really started to notice how little we have in common. Anyways, I asked Kate and she's coming over. She's going to stay the night. Mom and Dad love her because she's so generically beautiful and I think she's used to be a cheerleader or something. Not a preppy stupid one but just a really excited gymnast. She's really cool. She doesn't smoke like Zoe does and she so her hugs just smells so clean and perfumey.

Gwennie
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Zo, my love, my reason... the best thing in this world.. I want to write this to tell you....the best I can how in love with you I am...
God, it's like I can't see anyone but you sometimes...and I keep going "how can this be real? how can this be real?" I look at you sometimes, in the car and in the park and anywhere really...and you're so gorgeous and you're looking at me so deeply...and you're amber hazel eyes are the most wonderful eyes I've ever dreamed of...oh...Zo.
I would die for you. Anything for you. I am so completely devoted to you. And because you love me and are devoted to me life is the best thing imaginable.
You make me feel sexy. And hot and pretty. Really really pretty. And I am overwhelmed with absolutely adoring you. I almost cry thinking about it. I WOULD cry if I kept at it. I near burst thinking of you alone. Everything... Everything, Zo, is beautiful.
All the intimate moments we have are so deserved and pure and I feel we could do the dirtiest thing in the entire world and I would still be so pretty to us...
Every curve of you, contour, edge, side, shape fits into me. You were made for me and I was made for you. It was destiny that we fall in love so fast and kiss and hug and make love. Zoe I know I ask you a lot was it better? But... You've convinced, you've told me it was. It was. I know it was. If you feel anything close the unimaginable high I get when you only look at me, talk to me... think of me... it WAS better.
Nothing could compare to anything we do. People will see us and say "they are more in love than any couple I've ever seen." They will ache to be us, feel us...be around the love and adoration and devotion we emit. Our auras are full of perfection. We complete each other Zo and I mean that sincerly, in the most raw and emotional way possible. In your arms the entire world is singing... Lover... Mmm... You ARE me. We are so alike. I'm trying to make sense. I promise. It's just so hard. My head is swimming frantically trying to make sense out of my thoughts. Out of "I love Zoe." That's the only sense I'm making Zoe. Love me forever. I know you will. I will.
I love you madly.

<3 Gwendolyn

Ps- Can I have a hug now?

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Dear Diary,

I almost kissed Kate last night. We left to go get some icecream after the movie and we were sitting in the car at the first stop light in town and she said this joke about private eyes and she grinned all crooked and I had this feeling like everything was telling me to throw myself forward and touch my lips to hers.
Thank the lord the light turned green and we drove some more. I resisted the feeling the rest of the night. And when Zo called me at 11, like she always does, I admitted to her that I have a girlfriend. She didn't seem suprised. She just grinned at me and said she knew I was gay and it was cool with her.
I'm confused. I don't know. And I feel more guilty than ever before. Kate helped me pick out a card for Zoe. For valentine's day.

Gwen

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Valentines Day Card:
"I've Fallen In Love Many Times... Always With You."

Zoe.
Hi. I don't know what to say that I haven't already told you. That your embrace makes the world go away. That I think of you so much I can hardly think of anything else. That if you were to disappear, I would stop existing. There are so many things I could tell you, my darling. All of them are going to sound intense and dramatic and well... That's okay.
Did you know that with me, when YOU are with me, I am me? Not like with everyone else where I have to put on a face. I'm just me. I adore you. I watch so many TV shows and movies where the greatest love stories are, well, just stories. But you're real and I can feel you and hold you and breathe when you're around. There's no...cons. No negatives. We have flaws and silly habits and rituals... But that's it- I love your flaws. I love the way you do things different from everyone else I've ever even heard of. You LISTEN to me. You hear me. You don't laugh or zone me out even when I'm being moody and emotional. You're always there... Even when you're a hundred miles away...you're there. And I could tell you a thousand more things... BUt they're all going to sound like...

I love you.

<3 Gwennie

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Dear Gwendolyn,
Everyday without you is a day in sadness. If I could spend everyday with you I would. The oNly thiNg thAt mAkes my dAys worth while is getting to talk to you oN the phoNe. I dreAm All the Time of us beiNg together All the time. ANd iN these dreAms every momeNt with you is Bliss! Just like every momeNt I speNd with you Now. ONly it's every day of my life! I hope thAt you dreAm the same!
I Love you more thAn Anything my queeN!

Love,
Zoe

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Dear Diary,

Kate told me she's a lesbian. And she has a crush on me. I have no idea what to do.

Gwen.

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ZO:

So yay for the fack that it is Friday! I get to see you tomorrow, so that's nice also! Right now I'm trying desperately to entertain myself. I'm in STATS class ans we're learning about the existence of discrete and continuous variables. So... Absolutely nothing. I'm about to implode from incredible boredom. I hate numbers.
~~we can talk and talk with you; talk talk talk!~~
I bet right now you're asleep because it's 9:30AM. What's humorous is I'm writing this extremely colourful letter while everyone else is a' learnin'. I have penetrated the system! Oh... Wow. That sounds naughty. "I"ll penetrate your system." >.>
Ah! I have cold chills! I need warmth! Ah!!
Zo, when does the bell ring? When will I be released from this numerical prison!? So like only a thousand million days until no more skoo. That's like forever. What if I'm here forever? we'll have to live in a classroom!! I'll haev to become a janitrol. Would you still love me if I was a janitrol? That's asking a lot, you know. Janitrols are really bad. I'm scared of them. ): OMG Zo, I'll be scared of myself! That will be strange. I'll have to scream constantly.
Oh Mr. Math just gave us homework. I'll totally not do it. But like copy it? Fo' sho'. Wow. This note is SUPER PRETTY. Mmph. It should never end. Today I'm going to work on my story. No work. ABFAB today will be. Oh that reminds me, my homework for Maths had this huge "ABFAB" on it, all decorated and colored and very big. and that's how I turned it in too. ^.^
Oh, I just got complemented on this beautiful letter... By a boy. He must enjoy colours. Hehhehheh. Do you keep all these letters? Are you still asleep?
You know blue pens are my favorite pens. I love them very much a lot.
In psychology class today we are looking at optical illusions. It's really lame. I'm so lamed-out I think I'll just die. *blech* Zoe I'm so bored...So bored. I don't like this class. Mr. Teacher tries so hard to "entertain" us that he kills us with it. Everyone's like "I'm so very bored". Just joking, everyone is like "yay". I think everyone must be super lame. So lame that that old guy is snickering at them. Yep.
Thank God I can write this letter instead. Unfortunately I'll have to stop writing when I get to the bottom of this paper. *sigh*
Well I love you. This summer is going to be wonderful. We get to go to Gatlinburg in your car, alone. We get to sleep together and shop and listen to a slew of awesome CDS. And it's only 97 days away. 97 days. (: You're my favorite thing in the world. My best friend! What are we going to eat when we go on vacation? What will I wear? Should I wear a tiarra? Just asking. I can't wait to go shopping for food for our new apartment. Are you super crazy excited? I'm super crazy excited. We have to set up the new apartment. What all furniture are you bringing? Dad's making me things and you know we're going to have to bring home so much stuff from Gatlinburg! Your car is going to be SOCRAZY! Dangit, I'm almost out of space. Mmph. ): It makes me very sad. But like at least the day is almost half over. Because I get to see you tomorrow, darling!
I love you! Mwuah!!

Gwennie

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Dear Diary,

I think I'm a bitch because I say "I love you" to Zoe ten times more than I used to and I keep bringing her up and stuff when I'm talking to Kate like it's some kind of barrier. I do love her. Right?

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Zoe the Zotastic,
I wrote this for you today, this letter. I wrote it and I said "I will give this to Zoe" because it is hers, rightfully.
It's not necessarily long and it doesn't even say much. You'll see when you read it. I'll say "I hope you like it" and you'll say "mmph". You'll say that and I'll say the other thing.
I worte it in Geometry and thought to myself while writing- "this note will be for Zoe." I decided to give it to you just now. In the park that belongs to everyone as I sit in one of the swings and you sit in the other.
I remembered the letter and I said or thought rather but in a speaking way- "I have a letter for Zoe." It is this letter. I wrote it for you!
I'm very glad I remember to give it to you! I'd nearly forgotten! But then I did remember. It was nice remembering.
Anyways. Here it is- the letter with all it's ink and words and letters and sentences. Six paragraphs to be specific. Six anda  signature. You can read it now. Don't let my drab talking stop you. Go ahead.

I love you,
Gwennie

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Dear Gwendolyn,
You Are by fAr, the most beAutiful girl I hAve Ever LAid Eyes oN. I cAN't help But thiNk you Are my soulmAte. It seems Like destiNy to me. I thiNk I would hAve met you No mAtter whAt Life choice I would hAve mAde. You Are perfect in Every wAy I cAn thiNk of, ANywAy ImagiNAble.
My Life seems so complete with you iN it. To guide me wheN I Am Lost in the DarkNess. You Are my beAcon of Life (Like A Lighthouse) wheN I Am Lost At seA.
Every wAkiNg momeNt I Live, I wANt it to be with you. Til' deAth do us pArt.
I know it souNds pretty corNy. But, wheN doN't I? I Love you with All my heArt ANd I doN't know whAt I would do without you. Before you Just seems Like a wAste of time. You mAke me so hAppy, ANd I would do Anything IN my power to mAke you As hAppy As you mAke me! I Never waNt to give you up, I Am completely Addicted to EverythiNg About you!
I've Never hAd ANy tAke iNterest iN ANythiNg I do IN my Life Like you have doNe. I wAs AlwAys the persoN who ListeNed to other people, Never Able to get A word in Edge wise. But, you ActuAlly ListeN to whAt I hAve to sAy, Ask whAt I thiNk or how I feel. You hAve No IdeA whAt, and how much thAt meANs to me!

Your love,
Zoe Pinkerton

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Dear Diary,

I ripped out the last two pages of this diary because at first I was scared to write this. Truthfully, writing down all these thoughts does kinda seem like a bad idea. Cause then it'll all be here later to incriminate me. But then who else would I talk to about this? There is no one else really.
I'm sorta afraid, but strangely indifferent too. I want things so bad I kinda burn inside. Like a dull ache that started out as a constant throb and then calmed down. I'm confused about things too. I'm so sure about some passions but then if I can't even tell my family there must be something wrong with me.
I know she fuels my desire. I know that I sleep to dream about her. And she's not even mine. Not yet, anyways. If she were to come here right now I think I would gravitate towards her.
Life is kinda ironic isn't it? We begin it to start ending it and the simplest, most important day of it we don't even remember. So then why DO we live? With such a wide range of people in the world it's impossible to ever know.
I'm in love with Kate. I don't feel weird admitting it here because you can't judge me and, I don't know, just writing it down fills me with a sorta strength. I know I am. Strong, I mean. Even though most things I do through weakness. Not breaking up with Zoe is a damn cowardly thing to do.
I just...What will happen when I finally do take the plunge? I'm in the same situation aren't I? I'm gay. My family doesn't know. Except... Kate said she's hold my hand as I told them. Zoe, as much mush and romatic drivvle she spews would never do that. She'd bite at her lip ring and rub the scarred tissue of her tatooed arms outside in her oldsmobile. But she'd never come inside again. And my parents would hate her for her fear. Thet already hate. And they love Kate.
This is all kind of a one-way story. Which a one-way plan to go one-way and get one place and do one thing. I just want mind blowing passion. And if the world ends I'm going to yell that I'm a lesbian and I'm in love with Kate McGuff as the fire rains down.
I guess I'm pretty doomed.
Doomed.
Doomed.
Doomed.
But it's alright because as I sit in my bed holding my phone, Zoe's name highlighted on the screen...I know something's about to happen. Yes I'm scared. But I have to do this.

<3 Gwen

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